Felt incredibly drained, even as the day got started. I think the tiredness from Sicily has been catching up with me over the past few days; maybe social interaction is the trigger. Also, a lot of problems with the work we’re doing with vulnerable people at church were hilighted. I could see the long-term solutions, but they all seemed so far off it was demoralising.
Trips to Costa on Wednesday afternoons are very much tradition, only because I’m absolutely desperate for reflection at this point in the week, as I never fully realise I need complete space sometimes. I was reading Galatians 3, which says that God made promises of blessings to Christ, i.e. himself. So I get to be part of this in Christ, with the entire promise being dependant on him, and not me. Woo!
I felt God saying, “You have permission to feel pain.” Everyone seems to have the attitude that a permanent state of ecstatic, positive emotion should be the goal in life, and any negative feeling needs to be quickly dealt with, so it doesn’t diminish our experience. The truth is, it’s impossible to wholly, fully live without both sides of the spectrum. If you’re seeking a high, all you’ll get is an illusion that will fade into a seemingly miserable reality. Romans 8:17 says, “We are children of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.” True joy is impossible to attain without true sorrow. In fact, to become a follower of Jesus is to become one with his deep pain. Surprise!