June 22nd (going gaga)

Today was a consistent stream of disappointment, until near the end. I was mainly distracted by thoughts about the future, and not having enough money. I think Jesus wants me to learn to drive over the summer, which I want to do, but which will mean I have less money, quicker. Also, my iPod seems to have developed the habit of playing Lady Gaga when I access my emails; is this a sign?

After cleaning in a lethargic daze, and eating lunch, I watched some more Fairy Tail. I need to make sure I don’t just revert to comfort methods instead of seeking God’s presence. It seems a general rule with anime that around the thirty episode mark is the point of no return. I can feel my self-control being gently tugged by the metaphorical whirlpool. Then read some more Luke, which I thought was going to be boring, but was just what I needed. Jesus talks about living people, especially when they hate you. Even simple acts built on little or no understanding can be significant. James said, “I will prove my faith by my works.” Maybe I rationalise everything so much, there’s no room for trust. 

Glorious worship at the prayer room tonight. Although I should have listened to the voice warning me against a cup of tea just before, as this triggered several toilet breaks. Got prayer for money. Then had an emergency toast feast when I got home. I overestimated the level of crisis, so feeling like a whale.

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