June 30th (too much hope for dry tortillas)

Single-handedly covered the offices at church today, and prevented all manner of administrative meltdowns. At lunch, I continued fulfilling my calling of reviving dry tortillas, this time using not scrambled egg, but three-bean and chilli soup. This was a great idea in theory, but I underestimated the amount of moisture contained by the tin, and so my bread ended up being more comparable to bog than a desert. It got so messy, I had to remove my glasses. Finally got round to listening to The House by Katie Melua, who is slowly become my female vocal artist of the moment. Sorry, Gaga.

When I got home, I decided to take my Pilates workout to the next level, which resulted in pain. I then lay on my bed listening to Simple Gospel by United Pursuit. Yesterday I was thinking about Psalm 139:

Even the darkness will not be dark to you;

the night will shine like the day,

for darkness is a light to you.

I realise that I often treat God like an effect, or a spell to be invoked. Even when we pray together, we speak as if we’re trying to coerce God down, which annoys me. He turns up when and how he wants to, but is, slightly confusingly, always there. It doesn’t make a difference whether I understand my circumstances, position, thoughts, feelings, or even him, because he sees, knows and understands. Unbelievably, he isn’t stupid, and understands that we sometimes struggle.

Had an amazing tea at the Keene’s with Joel and Esther. Many personal opinions were strongly expressed.

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